Co-Dependents Anonymous
" Co-Dependents Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships. The only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships." 1. These statements, read at every meeting, express well the point of the whole program. They are taken from one of the four foundation documents of Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA), the Preamble, read at every meeting. CoDA is modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) using the same twelve steps as AA with the substitution on one word in the first step, "We admitted we were powerless over others" (not alcohol) "- that our lives had become unmanageable."
CoDA was founded in 1986 by Ken and Mary, long term members of AA in Phoenix, Arizona who "had begun therapy to deal with their own codependence issues. Over time, they had felt an ever increasing need for fellowship with other codependents." 2. Other members of AA agreed and the first meeting was held October 22 attended by 30 people. Within four weeks there were 100 and before the year was up CoDA held its first National Service Conference with 29 representatives from seven states. 3. Coda presently lists nearly a thousand meetings in the US and another thousand or so in about 60 countries, 4. all searchable on an interactive database 5. Six other countries maintain their own databases. There are also 35 online and phone meetings stationed in the US and overseas. 6.
CoDA does not define Codependence. It has instead assembled The Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence 7. provided by members and periodically revised or expanded. At the 2010 CoDA Service Conference (CSC), this went from 22 items in four Patterns termed Denial, Low Self-Esteem, Compliance and Control, to 55 items divided into the same groups with the addition of Avoidance Patterns.8. People who read or hear this list often comment, "It felt like they were talking about me." 9.
Other than reading the four foundations documents, The Twelve Steps, The Twelve Traditions, The Preamble and The Welcome, individual meetings are free to operate in any way they choose. There are very specific guidelines that are offered in a Meeting Starter Packet 10. and most meetings follow them quite closely, 11. but they can still be listed in the CoDA meeting list if they do not. 12. However, at all times, the expectation is that such choices are made by Group Conscience. 13.
The Group Conscience process is regarded as so important that it is the first substantive chapter in the Fellowship Service Manual, CoDA's organizational guidebook, coming even before the chapters on CoDA groups. Here, CoDA describes itself as turning upside down the standard, hierarchical, organizational pyramid. In CoDA, "For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority: a loving Higher Power as expressed to our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern." 14.
In practice, members of local groups meet and decide by consensus if possible, by majority otherwise, how their meeting is to be conducted and how they believe the larger organization should be run. Of course, this is through delegation to Intergroups of a few meetings, regional assemblies and finally Voting Entities, originally statewide, that send delegates to the CoDA Service Conference once a year. 15. But " Every member within CoDA has a voice and is encouraged to use it. Every member has the right to know what is happening within our organization." 16.
Typically, CoDA meetings begin with the reading of the foundation documents, usually shared by anyone there. People introduce themselves, "first names only" 17. , the Patterns and Characteristics are read, in full or in part and then the "CoDA Guide to Sharing" 18. in which newcomers are urged to begin gradually and are assured anything said will be listened to respectfully.
CoDA more specifically discourages Crosstalk than AA.19. But even here, the guidelines are explored, not defined. "Crosstalk can be: giving unsolicited feedback, advice-giving, answering, making you and we statements, interrogating, debating, criticizing, controlling or dominating." 20. People are asked, instead, "to listen without comment to what others share,"21. in order to create a feeling of safety. Indeed, the author has heard many comments of people favorably referring to the sense of safety at CoDA meetings as compared to other group experiences and even other twelve-step meetings.
It is difficult to determine the effectiveness of twelve step programs for addicts, 22. so it becomes even more difficult to objectively determine the effectiveness of Co-dependents Anonymous. Relationship satisfaction, unlike alcohol or drug abuse, is an internal fact, not externally measurable. This is a common conundrum not only for twelve-step groups but for mental health practice generally. The only measures are subjective, accessible through the testimony of the individual and secondary, evidenced by clinical assessment of behavior thought to be associated with the internal state.23. A search of Highbeam Research's 1080 academic journals in October, 2011 using the term Co-Dependents Anonymous turned up not one article focused on the organization. 24.
Even anecdotal data is problematic since there is no way to compare those who stay with and grow in the program from those who do not stay. The author's observations attending 7-800 meetings over ten years is of universal increases in reports of more satisfying and successful personal interactions from individuals attending over long periods of time. Somehow the program supported those individuals. Nothing is known of those who did not attend or stopped attending.
CoDA has one book approved for use as standard literature in the organization, titled Co-Dependents Anonymous.[1] In addition, there are two more CoDA-endorsed books including a workbook and a book of daily meditations, besides many booklets and pamphlets.
1. Co-Dependents Anonymous Phoenix, Co-Dependents Anonymous. Inc. 1995 p.ii 2. Co-Dependents Anonymous, p. 567 3. Ibid. 4. Personal count from database performed 8/25/11. Numbers are approximate because closed meetings are not always reported as such. 5. http://coda.org/ajax_control.php?action=load_translation&language=1 6. ibid. 7. http://coda.org/tools4recovery/index.php 8. http://coda.org/status/Motions/2010%20CSC%20Motions.htm 9. Personal observation from attendance at 7-800 CoDA meetings. 10. http://coda.org/pdfs/Meeting_Starter_Packet_2009.pdf 11. Author's observation 12. Fellowship Service Manual (FSM), http://coda.org/pdfs/Fellowship_Service_Manual_of_CoDA_2010.pdf, p.27 13. Ibid. 14. Tradition Two 15. FSM, Sections 07, 08, 09 16. Service Concept 12 17. Author's observation 18. ibid. 19. ibid., http://anonpress.org/faq/files/read.asp?fID=29 20. ibid. 21. ibid. 22. www.nytimes.com/2006/07/25/health/25drin.html 23. http://amhocn.org/static/files/assets/2617e448/Measuring_Consumer_Outcomes_Stedman_etal.pdf 24. http://www.highbeam.com/publications/academic-journals-2012
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